Raise your hand if you live mostly on autopilot. If you asked me this 6 plus years ago when I was finishing up my undergrads, locked into the typical energy sucking 9-5 in admin/sales, while being a run-down mom managing an autoimmune disease, without a single drop of hesitation I’d raise both hands. I needed my structure like the weakened torso of a Victorian socialite needs its stabilizing corset. Routine and distractions were my way to escape the chaos in my head.
While my external narrative was one of a hustler working towards honorable goals that would improve the lives of me and my son, I knew subconsciously I was simply running away from the things that scared me. I had a lot of emotional knots and tangles that I didn’t want to look at. Had I taken a moment to pause and reflect on my actions and motivations, perhaps I could have gained insights earlier on that would have REALLY accelerated my so-called goals. Instead, I was rushing directionless in a frenzy, only to fizzle out inevitably from burnout.
While autopilot is great for short-term goals, it’s not the place to live- which is why I’d like to highlight the power of Self-reflection. Socrates once said,
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates
Reaching out for further guidance, not only for myself but for those in a similar predicament I asked “What is one thing you do to practice self-reflection and gain a better understanding of your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors? How has self-reflection benefited your mental well-being?” One thoughtful response to this query was to: See your world as an internal projection
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See Your World as An Internal Projection
Psychotherapist/CEO of Louis Laves-Webb, LCSW-S, LPC-S & Associates
Louis Laves-Webb begins with:
“One way to practice self-reflection and emotional introspection is to enhance your view so that you begin to see your entire external world as simply a projection/manifestation of your internal landscape. This allows for a perspective shift, emphasizes understanding your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and attitudes, and promotes your own emotional growth and healing.”
Shift from External Blame to Internal Awareness Through Self-Reflection
“It’s natural to have an initial defensive reaction to this idea, but if you can cultivate this perspective, you will quickly see that it allows for deeper personal introspection overall. You can initially begin this approach by asking yourself a simple question: “What does this bring up for me?” For example, let’s say that you read something online that happened in politics that you initially detest. Instead of “externalizing” this by complaining about the particular political party or person, you can ask yourself the above-mentioned question for deeper self-reflection. Upon deeper awareness, you may conclude that this brings up the fear of your mortality as an example, and then your inner growth may need to include “sitting with” the vulnerability of your mortality and examining the fears that arise within you.”
“This type of self-reflection can allow for more grace, self-compassion, and increased overall emotional responsibility. Additionally, if you do decide to advocate externally, you are coming from a more emotionally “clean” place and may have a better chance of being heard and influencing others.”
5 Tips to Practice Self-Reflection and Enhance Your View
- Turn Triggers Into Teachers – The next time something irritates or upsets you, pause. Instead of reacting, ask: “Why does this bother me? What belief or fear is being challenged?” Your emotions are often mirrors, reflecting deeper internal struggles.
- Journal the Patterns – Pay attention to recurring thoughts, frustrations, or themes in your life. If the same conflicts keep showing up, they might not be about the external world at all, they might be signaling something unresolved within you.
- See the World as a Reflection – Instead of viewing situations as random, consider: “What is this showing me about myself?” A messy home, constant delays, or challenging relationships can reflect internal chaos, impatience, or unprocessed emotions.
- Shift from Judgment to Curiosity – When someone rubs you the wrong way, instead of labeling them as difficult, ask: “What part of me relates to or rejects this quality?” Often, what frustrates us in others exists somewhere within ourselves.
- Own Your Experience – While you can’t control everything that happens, you can control your interpretation and response. Choosing to see life as a reflection of your inner world gives you power—because transforming within often transforms what you attract externally.
Self-Awareness Leads to Progress
As mentioned earlier, autopilot was my place of comfort. Sadly, it was also my handicap, rather more of a prison. Without reflecting and asking myself “hard questions”, I was stuck in an endless loop that bound me to the same patterns and a limited external life. Today if you asked me if I’m living on autopilot, I won’t even raise a single finger. Life unfolds faster than we think, and I try these days to live more intentionally. I hope reading this inspires you to do the same.
Share your thoughts on self-reflection in the comments below:
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