We’ve come a long way in incorporating emotional awareness into our parenting, especially when it comes to discipline strategies. As a millennial mom of two, I was raised by parents who grew up with corporal punishment and tough-love parenting. While they did better than their own parents, I still felt the effects of harsh approaches being left to “cry it out” or hearing classics like, “I’ll give you something to cry about,” and “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
Now, I aim to do even better. That sometimes means unlearning what we were taught and relearning how to teach, guide, and discipline with empathy and intention. In hopes of learning and affirming some healthy parenting approaches, I reached out to parents and experts with this question:
“What is one effective discipline strategy you use with your children? How has this strategy worked for you and your family?”
Here is what 5 experts had to say:
Ask Questions First, Discipline Second
Licensed professional counselor and school psychologist Gary Daily reminds us that discipline isn’t just about correction, it’s about connection.
Fostering Self Awareness Early On
Effective discipline starts with good conflict management. This is accomplished by asking your child, “how did you come to that conclusion,” or “what makes you think that is true?” There are many ways to say this, but the main point is to see why they are thinking that way or making those decisions.
Use Your Words
For younger children, it could be simply, “can you use your words and tell mommy what’s making you angry.” After the child or adolescent shares their frustration, and you empathize with them, then you can discipline. “I understand how you got their son, but nevertheless you will have to clean your room before leaving with your friends!”
Gary Daily, Licensed Professional Counselor; School Psychologist
Observation Before Judgment Builds Natural Empathy
Sol Kennedy, founder of BestInterest, takes a mindful approach to discipline, one rooted in observation over judgment to help kids build empathy and emotional intelligence.
I start with observations first and keep the labels out of it. ‘I noticed you took the toy while your brother was using it. He looks upset. What do you notice?’ This helps build empathy without assigning blame or being confrontational. Then, I might follow up with, ‘What’s something you could do about it?’
We’ve all been steeped in a soup of good/bad, right/wrong. But if I can help my kids learn to observe the world first–without immediately assigning labels–I’ve done all the “disciplining” I need to do to help them be better friends, partners, and citizens.
Sol Kennedy, Founder
Time-Out Car Seat Transforms Toddler Behavior
For blogger and mom Amy Johnson, a creative tip from her pediatrician turned a forgotten car seat into an unexpectedly powerful toddler discipline tool.
A Solution to Escalating Behavior
Our family pediatrician offered a great suggestion in managing our rowdy two year old son.
He is bursting with energy, and recently his favorite activity is anything to upset his big sister, who is three years old. My husband and I tried setting timers for taking turns, constant intervening with our words, and sometimes even ignoring the situation if the offense wasn’t too egregious. When pushes turned to biting, we knew we needed a new strategy.
A Unique Spin on Time-Out
In our arsenal of baby gear is an old toddler car seat, currently going unused. A hand me down that never made the cut. As recommended by our pediatrician, when our youngest turns to biting or pulling hair, we simply strap him into the car seat, which we keep in a separate room. Five minutes tops, one of us will calmly explain what action led him there, and let him try again.
Somehow, just a few minutes of “not being part of the action” was the worst punishment of all to Mr. Social Butterfly. No more yells and screams, from older sister or from mom and dad for that matter.
The car seat still stays available, but after a week of use his behavior changed drastically. The mere threat of it is now all it takes for him to stop and allow us to model proper behavior.
Amy Johnson, Founder and Blogger
Sticker Rewards Build Trust and Responsibility
Mona Hovaizi, founder and CEO of Gaux, leans into the power of positive reinforcement by using simple rewards like stickers to build trust, responsibility, and lasting routines.
The effective discipline strategy I use is positive reinforcement. Children respond better to praise for good behavior rather than just punishment for bad behavior. For example, when my kids complete their bedtime tasks like brushing their teeth or picking up their toys, they earn a sticker. After ten stickers, they choose a fun family activity. This not only motivates them to follow routines but also helps them develop responsibility and self-motivation. By consistently rewarding good behavior, you build trust and encourage positive habits. It creates a supportive environment where kids feel encouraged to make good choices. What this means for parents is that focusing on what your child is doing right, rather than just what they’re doing wrong, can lead to better behavior and a stronger parent-child relationship.
Mona Hovaizi, Founder & CEO
Natural Consequences Teach Children Better Decision-Making
Alex Cornici, Marketing and PR Coordinator at Magic Hour AI, embraces natural consequences as a way to raise thoughtful, responsible kids; helping them connect actions with outcomes in a way that feels fair and empowering.
One strategy that many parenting experts recommend and I find highly effective is the use of natural consequences. This approach allows children to understand the impact of their actions through experience. For instance, if a child refuses to put away their toys, the natural consequence might be that the toys are not available for a certain period. This method teaches responsibility and helps children make better choices independently, learning the why behind the rules.
Seeing this method in action at home has significantly improved behavior. When kids experience the outcomes of their choices, they begin to align their actions more closely with the desired behavior without feeling unfairly punished. It has fostered a sense of independence and better decision-making skills among my children. Encouraging responsibility and understanding in children can create a more harmonious family environment, ultimately making day-to-day interactions more positive for everyone involved.
Alex Cornici, Marketing & PR Coordinator
Making the Best out of These Discipline Approaches
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with moments and small windows where we get to shape how our children understand themselves and the world around them. Whether it’s through natural consequences, mindful observation, or simple sticker charts, each of these strategies reinforces the idea that discipline isn’t about control but rather, connection, growth, and guiding our kids with compassion.
If any of these approaches resonate with you, try one this week and observe what shifts in your household dynamic. And if you have a discipline strategy that’s worked wonders for your family, I’d love to hear it in the comments or share it with me on Instagram @mommyrheum.
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